I posted earlier today about my experience being Freshly Pressed and there are a couple of things I wanted to add because I can never quite shut up about anything. But I do absolutely promise that after this post I am done with this topic, and we will get back to me talking about sex in the least erotic way possible.
After I’d been contacted by the good folks at WordPress, I was certain they had made a mistake by selecting my blog. Maybe someone’s finger had slipped scrolling down the long list of blog titles and they clicked on Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please by accident. Because I write about sex. And I swear. In fact, the post that had been selected included a really explicit section about condoms, and a few paragraphs later, I used the word “dick.” And mostly what I had seen on Freshly Pressed did not mention dicks and/or condoms. Or maybe I didn’t look back far enough into the Freshly Pressed archives. Maybe dicks and condoms have a long and storied history of being promoted on Freshly Pressed. Maybe if you blog about dicks and condoms, you actually improve your chances of getting Freshly Pressed.
Something to think about.
While you are considering that, here are my other tips for being selected for Freshly Pressed.
- Trick the editors at WordPress into believing your blog is actually full of literary merit, instead of mostly full of dick jokes, by naming one or more books you may have, but probably didn’t, read. In my Freshly Pressed post I said that I had just read two novels (Stephen King’s 11/22/63 and Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl) which
fooledcaused the editors at WordPress to categorize my Condoms and Dicks post as “Books.”
- Talk about your cat. If there is one thing nerds on the internet like to talk about, and I assume the nerds at WordPress are no different, it’s their cat, or, if they are also crazy, their multiple cats. I once had a long discussion with a friend about the number of
cats one had to be living with in order to cross over from being a pet owner to being a crazy cat lady. I have one cat, so my answer was: “Two.” Oddly enough, my friend has no cats, and yet she set the bar much higher (lower?) by answering, “Four.” In my Freshly Pressed post, I mentioned my pet cat, Noodles. You can read more about Noodles here and here and here.
- Think of me before you delete that crappy post you just wrote instead of clicking PUBLISH. Right after I wrote it, I absolutely hated the post that was selected, Blog Posts I Didn’t Write. But I had committed to posting every day. I see you checking my posting calendar and you’re noting that I have not even been posting every day, and you’re thinking, “She’s a lazy slacker.” Well, you’re right. Half the time I haven’t even been writing posts,
I’ve just been linking to Youtube videos because, yes, ok, I admit it, I am a lazy slacker! But at the time I wrote Blog Posts I Didn’t Write, I was really intending to post every day, and it was late in the day, and the clock was ticking down, and sweat was streaming down my forehead and I just pushed “Publish!” to be done with it. So before you delete that crappy post you just wrote, think of me, and you may find yourself Freshly Pressed, too!
I know that a lot of people who have come to this blog have also been Freshly Pressed, so what are your (serious) tips? And how many cats do you have to have before you become the neighborhood crazy cat lady?
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